Friday, November 23, 2007

Jigga WHA?

I've seen this a couple of other places but felt compelled to post...just in case we don't traffic the same sites. One aspect of the Conservative Right's arguments that I've always found fascinating vis a vis both liberals and homosexshuls is that we are apparently obSESSed with filth and doing the dirty. However...over at Conservapedia, you can look at their top 10 viewed pages. And what do we find?

Most viewed pages

  1. Main Page‎ [1,929,132]
  2. Homosexuality‎ [1,622,733]
  3. Homosexuality and Hepatitis‎ [517,944]
  4. Homosexuality and Promiscuity‎ [421,993]
  5. Homosexuality and Parasites‎ [414,651]
  6. Gay Bowel Syndrome‎ [400,250]
  7. Homosexual Couples and Domestic Violence‎ [373,837]
  8. Homosexuality and Gonorrhea‎ [332,044]
  9. Homosexuality and Anal Cancer‎ [294,230]
  10. Homosexuality and Mental Health‎ [293,375]
WOW. Just....WOW. Gay Bowel Syndrome? Is there even such a thing? Paging the doctors. Is this like irritable bowel syndrome but with shopping? What would Freud say about this list? A sociologist? An anthropologist? These people (if the site stats are true) are obsessed with what homosexshuls do. More so than I am.

So. If Conservapedia was created as the conservative palliative to Wikipedia, what would the godless liberal users of that site look at? Here's the 10 most viewed pages for 11/07 so far.

1. Main Page 27 543 000
2. Wiki 825 818
3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 376 636
4. Naruto 367 636
5. Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock 362 455
6. United States 301 909
7. Wikipedia 300 545
8. Deaths in 2007 292 909
9. Heroes (TV series) 280 636
10. Transformers (film) 277 091

The first mention of sex doesn’t even enter Wikipedia’s most viewed pages until number 17—list of sexual positions. And in the entire top 100 most viewed pages, there are only 8 pages that are even remotely related to sex, sexual intercourse, anatomy, etc. Most shockingly—there are no links directly to homosexuality (well…unless you count anal sex, but I’m not willing to budge on that one…it’s not strictly our domain. Even straight people have anuses.)


Radish King said...

Gay Bowel Syndrome. I think I have this. One of my mother's best friends was a lesbian and she practically raised me when I was a little kid. I think it took its time in showing up but I think it's what's been wrong. Wait until I tell my stupid doctor who thinks I have an ulcer.



RJGibson said...

I don't think lezbians get teh gay bowel. Unless they do it wrong.

Collin said...

I've done it all sorts of ways, but I can tell you -- as a practicing homosexula -- I have never heard of gay bowel syndrome. lol Great post!

Radish King said...

Oh RJ, sweetie, there is no "wrong."

Jeeze, you kids today.


Peter said...

This is too funny!
I can just picture all those naughty conservatives, reading about homos and choking their chicken and feeling guilty about it. Repression and displacement do funny things to a person.

Montgomery Maxton said...

GBS ... why do you think pepto bismol is pink

RJGibson said...

RK--o yay! You called me kid! :)

Collin: Me neither. And I thought I was pretty well-informed.

Peter: Not to mention Church 3 times a week and shopping at K-Mart.

O MoMa: Now I have the new Pepto Commercials with the non-native speakers singing "Upset Stomach, Indigestion.." Beeotch.

Radish King said...

MM: hahahahahahahahaaahaahahaaa!