Jesus Returns

From WZZM13.com (the link leads you to one of the most atrociously banner-ad heavy sites of all time.):

Hijacked Jesus statue returned to owner

A Kent County woman says a treasured family heirloom has been returned after it was hijacked amid allegations she doesn't clean up after her dogs.

Jean Mansel says her 80 pound cement Jesus statue was taken from a pedestal in her front yard, and a ransom note was left in her mailbox.
[snip]

Mansel says she cherishes her statue as a memento from late uncle. Last Thursday she found the statue missing.

"There were footprints behind it, and footprints in front of it," she says, pointing out where the statue used to be. My husband got a phone call and a real raspy voice over the phone said 'check your mailbox'."

In the mailbox was a ransom note.

[snip]

The note reads: “We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks w/out picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the weiner poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents.”

"It has to be a young person because they put these lines around Jesus, no adult is going to waste their time doing that," says Mansel. "And referring to weiner poopie…my gosh."

[snip, emphasis mine]

I take my dogs for walks; I carry a plastic bag with me and pick up anything that they do. I thought something like that would be safe in our yard, it wasn't, it wasn't."

Sunday night, Jean told WZZM 13 News the statue had been returned, taken not by neighbors but by a family member. She declined to explain further, only that this has now become a family situation.