Embarrassment of Riches

Thank you jeebus for this crazy astronaut. I don't really know where to begin with this. So many songs presented themselves--quotes from "Space Oddity," "Rocket Man," "Space is the Place," "Planet Claire" all came to mind this morning when I saw them discussing this on MSNBC--and tho they'd have made a wry nod to pop culture and the fragility of the human condition they wouldn't have done justice to the sheer crazy at work here.

According to CNN, once apprehended, Nowak was found with: a wig and plastic bag containing a carbon dioxide-powered BB pistol, a tan trench coat in addition to a trench coat she threw away, a new steel mallet, a new folding knife with a 4-inch blade, 3 to 4 feet of rubber tubing, large plastic garbage bags and about $600 in cash. Also she was found with diapers and about half a dozen latex gloves.

Ok--some of this stuff makes sense--the trenchcoat and wig were apparently her super secret disguise kit. I'm guessing that when she wasn't playing Apollo 13, Nowak was a big fan of Days of Our Lives. The diapers she brought to avoid time-wasting stops at rest areas (let THAT sink in, considering she drove from Houston to Orlando, which according to Mapquest is about 972 miles.) The report says that Shipman saw Nowak in the trenchcoat appearing to follow her--nothing blends in in Florida like a trenchcoat, nothing. Personally, I think Shipman smelled her coming.

"Asked about the BB pistol, Nowak told police it "was going to be used to entice Ms. Shipman to talk with her," the report said.

"Mrs. Nowak stated that she was not trying to cause any bodily harm to Ms. Shipman and that she only wanted to scare Ms. Shipman into talking with her," the police report said."

Fine--that explains the BB gun. But what about the folding knife? The mallet? The tubing?

Hat tip to Eric for the CNN link.