Some random notes on the 49th Grammy Awards.
Jamie Foxx--you're not as funny as you think you are...and the people in Ohio don't need that translated.
I now know what the bottom's perspective during missionary sex with Justin Timberlake is...ew. Trim your nose hair.
Beyonce--white flowers in your hair do not make you Billie Holiday. They don't even make you Diana Ross in Lady Sings the Blues.
James Blunt--Damien Rice has a new album. Go away now.
Fergie--Mary J. does not want you to hold her. But I bet you tinkled a little when you got to touch her.
Imogen Heap, Natalie Cole and Fergie all thought it was the 49th Annual Tranny Awards.
They should've gone all the way and made C-Lo Green look like Idi Amin. Forest Whitaker and Uganda would be juiced.
Xtina killed "It's a Man's World."
Mary J. took us to church again. Has she had a bad live Grammy's performance yet?
Fuck Nashville. Fuck jingoistic coun'ry music fans.
If Al Gore does run in 08 he's gonna have to explain hugging a bunch of ex-junkies.
On a personal note, I was thrilled to see "Jesus Take the Wheel" win a Grammy. I was also happy to see Lionel Ritchie sing "Hello." Now if the Police had only done "Every Breath You Take."
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