Christ on a Triscuit

Do you love Vincent Gall0? Did you watch The Brown Bunny and wish it was you being debased instead of Chloe Sevigny? Well--for $50 large you can have a date with the man himself. A cool million will net you some of his sperm.

Pod People

Christopher Hennessy has posted some recordings of James Hall, Jericho Brown and me reading work, along with introductions, at his site.

Happiness

Is it awful to be happy when a loathed coworker quits? Call me awful.

~*~

Some fun webjunk: http://www.jacksonpollock.org/ .

~*~

Aaron has some fun Youtube up. Now if I could only find Jennifer Garner being accosted by Gary Busey. You know the Oscars sucked when the best shit happened on E!.

~*~

I've had this song stuck in my head for the last couple of days. Enjoy a little Tuesday morning Tori. It was either this or "Midnight at the Oasis."

IDQoTM: The Tide Is High

Poem for the Day

Here's a link to Daisy Fried's "Shooting Kinesha" from issue #93 of Ploughshares.

Retro-Fabu Dance Party: Spice Up Your Life

Oh yes--yes it is, the Spice Girls. I blame the excessive hair bleach and recreational pharmaceuticals.

IDQoTM: Dreaming

Let the Jokes Begin

Via Christopher and C Dale, the What Punctuation Mark Are You Quiz

You Are a Colon

You are very orderly and fact driven. You aren't concerned much with theories or dreams... only what's true or untrue. You are brilliant and incredibly learned. Anything you know is well researched. You like to make lists and sort through things step by step. You aren't subject to whim or emotions. Your friends see you as a constant source of knowledge and advice. (But they are a little sick of you being right all of the time!) You excel in: Leadership positions You get along best with: The Semi-Colon

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

Brian is:

You Are a Question Mark

You seek knowledge and insight in every form possible. You love learning. And while you know a lot, you don't act like a know it all. You're open to learning you're wrong. You ask a lot of questions, collect a lot of data, and always dig deep to find out more. You're naturally curious and inquisitive. You jump to ask a question when the opportunity arises. Your friends see you as interesting, insightful, and thought provoking. (But they're not always up for the intense inquisitions that you love!) You excel in: Higher education You get along best with: The Comma

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

FUBAR

Driving home from work this morning I had NPR on. My radio has developed an exciting new glitch: it adjusts the volume automatically. Sometimes getting ear-bustingly loud, other times zeroing out almost immediately.

There was a story from the local NPR folks about the State Medical Examiner's office releasing the wrong body to a family for burial. I didn't get far in before the volume zeroed out and I couldn't increase the volume to hear the rest of the story. All I had was the opening sentence floating in my head for the rest of the drive. By the time I was home, I had a poem draft. This won't be up long.

aaaaand scene.

Drifts

This yo-yo weather is insane. Back in the 20s today, five or so inches of snow. I want it to be spring. All the nursery and gardening catalogs have been pouring in and it's like porn.

~*~

Four packets of poems out in the mail over the last couple of days. Not a sim sub in the bunch. That feels good. I've worked so slowly the last year that this recent burst of poeminess gives me more options and a cushion to rely on.

The chapbook is essentially done and has been sent out to a crack team of fresh eyes. My only worry is they'll hate it.

Still getting about a poem a week, not nearly as crazy as a few weeks ago when it was a poem every couple of days. I can manage this. And the poems look/feel/move differently. Tons of quatrains in tetrameter. Who knew. I usually hate tetrameter.

Retro-Fabu Dance Party: Go West

Leave it to the Pet Shop Boys to out-gay the Village People.

How many voddy collinses did I spill dancing to this?

Retro-Fabu Dance Party: It's Not Right But It's Okay

Thunderpuss Remix. God that leather dress is...dare I say...FIERCE!

Retro-Fabulosity

I've been thinking a lot the last couple of days about going to bars and dancing, how much time I spent on weekends through my 20s just getting stupid and sweaty then dragging myself off to a diner or home. Due in no small part to Reginald Shepherd's recent post at Harriet about dancing and remixes and because Brian's been talking about wanting to go out and dance, or as he says "shake my ass."

As much as I hated aspects of bar life at the time, I loved being in the middle of a bunch of people and just dancing (I almost said doing it, but that's another chapter of my life, best not gone into here.)

Last night in the middle of YouTubing other stuff, I came across the KLF/Tammy Wynette collaboration "Justified and Ancient." It did and does just make me feel goofy and happy and want to dance. The phrase "ancients of MuuMuu" just makes me smile. The video is also a great example of early-90s post-modernity in action: it's got a Wicker Man homage and everything but the kitchen sink (unlike that Go West song from the Pretty Woman soundtrack that DOES have everything and the kitchen sink, but alas no Wicker Man love.) But seriously--it's got Tammy Wynette in a crown! How the hell do ya beat that?

IDQotM--Rip Her to Shreds

Live in 1977. One of my favorite Blondie tracks ever.

Ah, L'Amour

Happy Valentine's Day. I give you this. NSFW (unless you have headphones.)

Brian sent me this a few days ago and it just seems perfect.

Happy V-Day Brian, I love you.

Poem for the Day

From Jim Daniels' Revolt of the Crash Test Dummies.

you bring out the boring white guy in me

you bring out the boring white guy in me
the Ward Cleaver in me. The Pat Boone
in me. The K-Mart in me. The Slurpee
in me. The boiled hotdog in me. The mac
and cheese in me. The Tang in me.
You bring out the Hamburger Helper
in me. You bring out the Twinkie
in me. The Cheez Whiz in me.
You bring out the bowling trophy
in me. The student council in me.
The parliamentary procedure in me.
The missionary position in me.
You bring out the canned vegetables
in me. The Jell-o in me. The training
wheels in me. You bring out
the lawn edger in me. The fast-food
drive-thru window in me. The Valu
Meal in me. You bring out the white
briefs in me. You bring out
the cheap beer and weak coffee
in me. You bring out the 15%
tip chart in me. The sad overweight
weekend golfer in me. You bring out
the ex-smoker in me. The jumper
cables in the trunk with flares
and the red flag to tie to the window
in me. You bring out the Tony Orlando
in me. The canned situation comedy
laughter in me. The elevator music
in me. You bring out the medley
of TV commercial jingles in me.
The Up with People in me.
I've come to a complete stop
at the stop sign. I've got my
emergency flashers on. My doors
are locked, baby,
I'm waiting for you.

Oh, Hillary

On the one hand, I'm enjoying watching the Jr. Senator from NY struggle through the primary season. That whole "inevitability" "I'm not going to lose" jazz coming from her and her campaign last summer and fall just annoyed me like heat rash. On the other hand, I am mortified for her by certain of her choices in the last 24 hours.

*The Dallas Morning News has a picture from the kick off of her El Paso event last night: a mortified five-year-old in a Mariachi outfit was paraded out to hand her flowers. I know she's courting Hispanic voters. But a Mariachi outfit?? I'd vote for the five year old...he at least has enough sense to feel shamed.

* Shouting "I'm tested. I'm ready. Let's Make it happen." only works if you're just back from the free clinic. Besides--Rudy! used this same line in Florida...and look how that turned out.

*Then, there's this:

Calling All Art Lovers

A fun little web-quiz to waste some time. Artist or Ape. I scored 83%

Drudegery Port

Still no acceptances or rejections, I'll stifle the neurotic and go about my business, hewing to the no news is good line.

More packets almost ready to go out next week. Last minute tweaks and decisions of what goes in each.

Jim Daniels' Revenge of the Crash Test Dummies is fab. As is the latest issue of Court Green.

New Schuyler

I always feel sort of odd when posthumous poems are released...do we call them new? previously unpublished? should they be published if they weren't during the author's lifetime? or should we just not bother worrying about all that and be glad that there's still work to be discovered?

The poems can be found here. A brief note about the poems can be found here. There's also apparently a new biography in the works.

IDQoTM--Well Did You Evah

Debbie Harry and Iggy Pop doing Cole Porter, from the Red Hot +Blue charity album.

'Bangers and Mash-ups

Tommy showed me this a short while ago. It's fabulous. Gwen Verdon from Ed Sullivan mashed with Unk's "Walk it Out." Fosse-tastic!

1000 Words

Dither

I love that word. When I started setting up my aquarium years ago it was recommended that I get a couple of small schools of tetras to use as dither fish because I wanted a breeding pair of Kribensis (Pelvichromis Pulcher). Occasionally the word just gets stuck in my head apropos or not. Today it's apropos.

~*~

Three days off in a row and I'm catching up on so much post-AWP stuff...laundry mainly, mail, cleaning out the fridge. There's writing to do. And reading. I've got enough books and lit. mags to keep busy reading for a solid three months. Oh those crazy last day book fair discounts.

~*~

Cooking like crazy today. Tomorrow night I'm getting together with friends for a little dinner and conversation. I'm making a Praline Bread Pudding with Creme Anglaise for dessert. I think the Creme Anglaise is a failure...it has to cool totally, but something seems off. I make custard a lot and figured the CA would be a snap...but no. Not today. Some day I'll learn to just run to the bakery like a normal person.

~*~

Does AWP self-google? I got my post-conference survey and noted a bit in the email where they said something along the lines of "we enjoy reading your blogs about the conference."

Happy Year of the Rat!

By birth, I am a Rat. Technically, according to the wiki, I'm a Water Rat.

While I Should Be Working

Doing what I get paid for, I am not. I'm watching the primary returns, reading blogs, and looking at poems, my own and a friend's. My chapbook-length poem series thingie is almost done...it's currently 28 sections...only a couple more to go for tone and balance and I think I can start doing the heavy lifting and revising.

I'm also working on an artist's statement...it's excruciating. Ego(t)istic as I sometimes (often?) am, I find it hard to talk about my work in broad strokes.

AWP Flashback

PWADJ's Quickie AWP post reminds me of something I almost forgot...or perhaps tried to block. I'm sitting on the aisle in one of the conference rooms waiting for the panel to begin. A woman walks past then turns and comes back and says:

"Is that your dime?"
"Nope."
"Oh. Are those good luck?"
"I dunno. Is it tails up?"
"I hope so. I'm looking for tail."

POed Cats and Other Sundries

Squirrel--Alive with Pleasure

I told my mom this morning that Huckabee would win the GOP caucus in WV today. I chalked itup to his "I ate fried squirrel" story in the news a few weeks ago. I'm sticking to that.

~*~

Fletcher the wonder mouser has yet to forgive me for leaving and coming back smelling of strange cat. He's like a pissed-off 13 year old girl, turning his head away from me as he walks past so he can't see me. I guess pets do end up resembling their owners.

~*~

Almost 70 today. Insane. Soon it'll be spring. That means insane gardening and cattle escapes.

~*~

A little Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon fun for Aaron. Thanks to Brian for showing me this the other night.

IDQoTM--Call Me

Debbie Harry and last month's IDQoTM, Shirley Manson doing "Call Me."

Skanks on a Train

These are the ugliest shoes I've seen in a while. The picture doesn't do justice to the particular shade of nipple pink faux leather that accents the faux leopard skin. Or the nipple pink cord bow on the toe.

They belong to a trout-mouthed woman who was on our train from NY to Baltimore Sunday morning. At first, her shoes were the most offensive thing about her. Then somewhere around Philly she gets on her phone and starts talking, loudly.

It's 10ish on a Sunday. I'm on my second full day of this cold and a bit hungover. I am not light and love and puppies (ask Brian for confirmation.) I am raw and bitchy and on the verge of crying because I just want to be somewhere away from people. I can't get a bagel on the train because the oven doesn't work. I really really want a bagel.

She's directly across the aisle from me. Going on and on at the top of her healthy lungs about black dresses cut down to there, sleepy hugs and everything is punctuated by this doltish laugh. The train chugs on and so does she. Five minutes in I loathe her. I lean to Brian and whisper "I wish someone would kick her in her fucking head." She's still going on and I'm trying to read Outside the Lines but I can't really concentrate on either...something about plans and later and what was it that DA Powell said about burying things in poems? Back up the page and read it again.

She's still going on, laughing that dolt laugh and it seems impossible that she's laughing at what the other person says because she never seems to stop making noise long enough for someone else to respond.

She's the type of girl you'd see at a Young Republicans meeting or out somewhere protesting a Planned Parenthood Clinic and promoting Abstinence only education. She's still talking and I lean in Brian's direction and say, not so quietly this time, "I wish someone would shut her the fuck up." A couple of minutes later she's off the phone and she sits there, furiously texting until we get to Baltimore. I hope that was my fault.

Pumpgirl & Tossed Salad--Notes From AWP

Maybe it's because I was an AWP virgin before last week...maybe because I was sort of entranced by the idea of being in a huge group of people who (ostensibly) love writing and ideas and books...maybe because I had a week off...but I had a great time. I got to see expected friends, ran into a favorite friend from my grad school days totally unexpectedly, and got to meet people I only knew virtually--all of whom were gracious and sweet. All in all, win win win.

Brief bits:

Saw a brand-name poet in the Hilton Lobby my first night there and didn't throw up in my mouth, even a little.

There is nothing more startling than hearing your name shouted in the book fair, in a city hundreds of miles from your home, at 9 am on the first full day of the conference. In this case it was delightful. My friend Amy, whom I'd lost touch with ages ago was there. She's as sharp and funny as ever.

The Lynda Hull tribute was really beautiful. It ended with a video of her reading "Window" sometime in 1994. It's my favorite poem of hers and I started crying in the middle of it. Totally hooked me.

If anyone ever offers you a drink of a chinese liquor that's described as a "cross between rye and vodka," turn it down. Go for a Brooklyn Lager instead.

Francine Prose is fierce in person, I regret not making it to see her read.

The Pitt Reading was a blast...take that for what it's worth, since I'm biased. But Aaron and Jan Beatty were excellent.

I bought way too many books and lit mags.

Saw Gerald Stern wandering purposefully through the bookfair Sat. morning with a cell phone to his ear. This made me unutterably happy.

The Post-Identity Politics panel was a lot of fun, in no small part due to RS's shouting an obscenity.

Chase Twichell rocks my socks. Ditto for David Wojahn. I think I love them more for having heard them speak on their respective panels.

Best signage in NYC: at the deli across the street from the Hilton, a neon sign reading TOSSED SALAD (the BAR being unilluminated.) The banner for PUMPGIRL. Aaron got a picture of this. A close third is the deli sign for Fish Platters that we passed after lunch.

The only downside was developing a cold Saturday morning. No, really. That was it.

Ach Du Lieber

Just got back into West-by-god a bit ago. It's 60 degrees and the cat hates me. My sinuses hate me--damned head cold. Off to shower and shave and unpack my bags and bags of books (laundry can wait.)

I'll be back later with snippets from AWP, a rant about the train trip from NYC to Baltimore and the new Inner Drag Queen of the Month.