We're Two Today

Today marks the second anniversary with Brian.

A late thanks for the b-day wishes. It's been looney.

Step-Cat Bloggin

Brian sent these pics of Jaxper to me last night. I'm feeling awfully "aaaaw, cute kitty" today. I blame the rain. I blame my jello brain. I blame not being able to sleep today. My own cat is not so cute. He's been in a fight with something and has a little bald spot in the middle of his forehead. I am now of course terrified he'll become rabid.

Happy Birthday, Brian

He's 27 today.

Updates, New Yearishness edition

The Baltimore trip was grand--much shopping, much eating, good restful sleep, Brian and presents. It was entirely too short though, the only consolation being I'll be back before hieing North to AWP in just a few weeks.

Macy's at the Marley Station Mall was a treasure trove of oddities: from the multi-jurisdictional, 5 cop search and detention of a guy in the parking lot (hands cuffed behind his back, sitting on the pavement), to the discomfiting mannequins inside (heads and armless torsos that look inspired by Return of the Jedi: a gold stretch and sequined sort of C-3PO cum drag-diva model and a red quilted Imperial Guard number stood out and made me wish I had my camera), and disgruntled German shoppers holding up the Men's Wear Denim Sale line--factor in the fact that I found TWO pairs of jeans on sale that give me an ass (no small feat, let me tell you) and I knew it was going to be a day to remember.

~*~

Working New Year's Eve sucks. Being the only sober person in a bar as the ball drops sucks more. This is the first sober New Year's I've had in almost 18 years. Not sure where that ranks on the pathetic scale.

Drove home this morning into an oncoming storm. If I were a different sort of person, I'd assume this was some sort of metaphor. Thank god I'm not Kate Chopin or one who looks for signs and omens.

~*~

Arrived home to find late Christmas packages from the sibs and their spawn--nothing awful that I have to return this year. Everything is the right size and not hideous. Amazing. Likewise, no acceptances nor rejections--so it's a wash mail-wise. Bills of course and a couple of magazines.

~*~

My fascination with those vacuumed space saver bags is a little worrisome.

~*~

One of my favoritest AbFab bits ever. Bubble on New Year's.

Baltimornin'

Frantic packing tonight, then work, then a morning nap, then off to Baltimore and Brian for a late xmas visit that is going to be too too short. The time crunch is a downer, but it's a chance to see the boy and get a double dip of Christmas; so ultimately it's to the good.

Minimal blogging, if any, until I'm back; unless of course the good folks of Charm City have seasonal Virgin billboards or there's something just too good to pass up.

Bidness

Posting will be heavy the next two days...probably three posts a day...maybe more. I've found a lot of fun, quirky, irritating stuff that I wanna share. I'm a giver like that. I'm also prone to cold sores...but I digress. I'll be off cavorting with Brian over the weekend and won't be back to (semi)regular blogging until Tuesdayish.

80 Degrees and Pissy

It's just a week before Halloween and it's almost 80 degrees here in Baltimore. Crazy. I just ran to the grocery store and Lambda Rising in a light shirt, shorts and flip flops, the whole time I'm thinking when is it going to be Fall. Even at home it's been unseasonably warm for the most part.

~*~

I ended up running out for groceries earlier than I'd planned because it was impossible for me to sit on the balcony with my smokes and coffee and work on poems. Not because of the heat, but because some tool (or tools) with a bullhorn were in the park across the street having some sort of demonstration, brain-washing rally or friggin performance art experience. All I could make out was the occasional "God is Love." There are several phrases, but sadly "God is Love" is the only one I can totally make out. Apparently it's all on some sort of tape loop or something because I hear the same phrases over and over. The space between each phrase is punctuated by a blast not unlike a police siren. Given that each phrase is at best 45 seconds long, you can imagine what this is like. Earlier in the morning, about 11 or so I could hear the siren blasts while I was doing the dishes and reading. Sirens aren't uncommon here...but I wondered what the hell was happening that there were so many short ones. It is amazingly loud up here on the 7th floor. Esp. the sirens. As I was walking too and from the grocery I noticed that you couldn't hear it really at a half block away. But out on the balcony...clear as crystal...as a bell...as as as some shit that's perfectly audible and distracting and enough to piss me off. This is one of those moments where I think the First Amendment sucks.

~*~

Went book shopping at Normals Saturday afternoon, after I was in and settled and found some good stuff (sorry Shlee...they had none of the vinyl you wanted.) I got a copy of Charles Wright's Littlefoot for 10 bucks. It looks as though it's not been read at all. Also got Berrigan's Sonnets and an omnibus copy of some of Joe Orton's work. A few other things but nothing really exciting. Just replacing a couple of things. It was a tough shopping process...there was really a lot of things I wanted and I kept picking things up and winnowing down the pile. Better that tho than the alternative of desperately wanting something and finding nothing.

~*~

We went to this great Afghani restaurant just a few blocks from Brian's building for dinner. Beautiful beautiful beautiful food. The restaurant was a little cramped tho and I found myself feeling really squeezed and wanting to leave as soon as possible. Just too much crowd buzz and movement...the restaurant really isn't that large, but I counted about fifteen wait staff buzzing around and weaving in and out of the tables. The service is excellent, really...we got our food quickly, drinks refilled in a timely fashion...they were polite but not smarmy and trying to charm tips from us...just what I appreciate in table service. But...all that movement...the close proximity of other tables...it just got to me. However...I'm going to dream of that lamb soup.

Happy Anniversary

Today is mine and Brian's anniversary. It's been a year...which is nothing for some people, but for me it's a huge accomplishment-- one of my realest steps toward becoming an actual grown-up man-type person.

Addendum: C. Dale's comment prompted me to clarify a little about the line "nothing for some people".

I have always been a little staggered by people who can seemingly float from long-term relationship to long-term relationship with little difficulty. I always seemed to lack that talent--due to a) my own commitment issues or b) poor object choices (I'll leave it for those who know me to decide which was more decisive.) With Brian it's never been like that. No contest of wills, no tip-toeing, no real fits of pique or foul temper (for me that last one is almost unheard of.) It has been, despite the physical distance, ridiculously easy. I recognized early on that he was special and that the two of us together worked very very well and that, for me at least, this was nothing but a long-term deal.

Oh, Craigslist.

Brian found these two gems on Craigslist last night, in the erotic services section. He kindly sent them along.

Who wants to be my Financial Slave??? - w4m - 23

I am a sexy, hot, beautiful young girl who needs her bills paid.

I deserve to have men take care of me, and pay off my credit cards.... so who is ready to step up to the plate??

If you have been a LOSER and someones BITCH all your life, you will love this "job" b/c being my bitch will be that much more fun :)

email me when your'e ready to treat this princess they way she needs to be treated!!!

I'm sure she's scouring a full inbox as we speak.

ONLY THE PASSABLE NEED TO APPLY - m4t - 35

LET PETERWEAT MASSAGE YOR TROUBLES AWAY. I GIVE THE BEST IN MASAAGES AND 4 PLAY JUST GIVE ME A CALL AT [redacted]. AND ASK 4 PETERWEAT. LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE PASSABLE WHEN CALLING

Peterweat also has pictures available. The one of him in a luchador mask is stunning--but definitely NSW.

Snippets

We open in two days...and it finally feels like we have a real show. I left rehearsals early last night because it felt like I was coming down with bronchitis. I took some Mucinex and ended up falling asleep on the couch last night about 9:30 and slept there until 7:30 this morning. Woke up feeling fine.

~*~

The rest of this week should be easier--all the print design stuff is finally done and at the printer's, so I don't have to deal with that or last minute design meetings or any of that stuff. I can just concentrate on acting and singing and all that jazz.

~*~

There is a little girl in the show who is inarguably the rudest child I've met in my life. She reminds me of Samara from The Ring. Perhaps that's only because I want to throw her down a well.

~*~

Brian got his exam results yesterday, he passed both. I'm thrilled for him. He also gets to go to a special screening of Hairspray on Thursday (I'm only a little jealous...the John Travolta thing really makes me want to avoid this movie like the plague. Part of me hopes that since it is Baltimore that John Waters will be there...) Saturday he's driving in for the weekend and to see the show. It's almost obscene, getting to see him twice in one month.

~*~

Harvesting like crazy at work right now...tons of squash, cukes and green tomatoes.

Photo Geekery

The day after I got to B-more, Brian and I went for a walk around his neighborhood, heading up Park Ave to see the house where Fitzgerald wrote Tender is the Night and just to get out for a bit. I saw the above notice posted on another historic house...I can't remember for the life of me why it's significant...but the typo on the public signage amused me.

Ebirah's Hit Hard Times

Despite his appearance in the 1969 epic, Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster, the giant crab Ebirah never really seemed to take off like some of the other giant monsters. Imagine my chagrin, seeing him reduced to restaurant promotion in the Inner Harbor.

Will busk for food.

No, little princess, I have not seen your twin, nor Mothra.


Brian with crab.

Sadly, the picture of the little boy terrifed of Phillip's Ebirah didn't turn out. I'm going to try photoshopping it this weekend. It's priceless...well..if you're amused by the suffering and tears of children.

And Lo

The skies broke and the rains came down...kept having flashes from the Wasteland running through my head yesterday afternoon.

Very productive morning in the garden for me--transplanted and separated purple coneflowers, black-eyed susans, nicotiana and hibiscus. Even got the newest bed weeded, watered and mulched. Got everything fertilized and now don't have to worry about being gone the next several days. I still need to get the beetle traps out...they seem particularly heavy this year.

~*~

Rehearsal went very well last night--we now have more than enough men to fill out the chorus! Every year it's a fight to get men involved and I was more worried this year than most (we can't really recast sailors, marines and seabees as women), but we managed to recruit some excellent singers who can move well. The songs last night sounded really full...we're having a crash course in the parts tonight but I'm really excited.

I remembered my choreography for "Honey Bun" much to my (and the choreographer's) delight. There's a bit with a passe and then a step ball bit that had given me trouble tuesday...we're running it again tonight so hopefully I'll have it all locked in.

Took twice as long to get home last night as usual...there was an accident on my way home. I'm not surprised...there were a lot of stretches of standing water, heavy rain and mist. Sitting in traffic with the strobing lights of the responders' vehicles lighting the trees, the rain and dark made me feel very anxious. I was really aware that a panic attack could exert itself if I wasn't careful.

~*~

Lots of last minute errandy things to do today...run to the bank, renew my car license, clean out the car (with the rain this might just have to be a slapdash effort) making sure I have everything on my list. I only hope I remember all my stuff and don't show up without my underwear and toiletries like last time. Or forget Brian's birthday present like I did last time he was in town (it's only 3 months late at this point.)

Enervation

It is unseasonably hot and humid here. It's not usually this muggy and stifling until mid-July or August. Everything else I've wanted to do with the gardening at home and the beds at work has gone by the wayside. The main thing now is just keeping it all watered. The tomatoes, those contrary things, love it.

~*~

I'm a bad sleeper even under the best conditions and this old farmhouse just sucks in heat and holds onto it, making getting deeply asleep impossible. The heat's also irritated Fletcher who's taken to running about and yowling to be let out each night, usually about half an hour after I'm asleep. Shorter version: everyone here is cranky.

~*~

We choreographed the big dance number I'm in last night. It went well enough--even in the heels. After 3 hours though, I was ready to go home and ceased being such a cooperative camper.

In related news, the original director for the show quit last week. Things seem to be going better without him.

~*~

Brian's going to see Kathy Griffin tonight at a theatre down the street from his apartment. I'm frankly jealous and wish I could go, but my rehearsal schedule won't allow it. I'll be heading east to see him Saturday, though and staying until July 5th. I'm ready to go now.

~*~

Big Ups to C Dale and Jacob. I got the Amazon gift certificate and finally figured out what to order. I'm looking forward to even more book shopping while I'm out of town. There's so much I want to get my hands on right now it's not funny.

~*~

I bought a hula hoop today. Sad that what one could do easily at 10 is nearly impossible now.

What Would Eva Do?

Sunday, when we were driving back to Buckhannon, I avoided a squirrel in the road. It was hunkering and darting beside another squirrel who had not been so lucky as to avoid a car. Actually it was pretty flat--it had not avoided a lot of cars. I had to avoid the skittish, befuddled, living one. I'm not one of those people who stops and helps box turtles across the road or who'll run into the ditch to avoid a bunny; but if weather conditions allow, I'll try to veer away or brake enough to avoid killing something.

I sometimes think we're like the couple in Green Acres--he's Eva Gabor, I'm Eddie Albert. I'm pretty adaptable. I like the options of cities: the venues, the anonymity, the restaurants, the shopping. At the same time I really love the space and quiet I have here. Sometimes it's grating, but overall it's a fair trade. We drove past people I knew and without thinking I'd point them out, oddly happy seeing them out running errands or whatever on a Sunday. Unlike Eddie A, I'd never ask Brian to relocate to an area like this--it'd drive him mad, I fear. But one of the things I'm gladdest for about this visit was that he got to be with me and some of my favorite people and see that part of my life.

~*~

Last night before bed I heard a thumping and clanking on the front porch. I knew it wasn't my critters, because they were all inside, bedded down and sleeping. I went to the door and turned on the light and there, rattling about the kibble and water bowls (during the late spring and summer I leave a few bowls out for the cats and dogs, because they're outside as much they're in) was a sizeable possum. It lurched off the porch and ran its odd jerky run off through the ferns toward the meadows. Hideous little beasts. I'll start bringing the kibble in at night because I don't want repeat visits.

Every time I see a possum I think of Gerald Stern's "Behaving Like a Jew" from Lucky Life.

Behaving Like A Jew

When I got there the dead opossum looked like
an enormous baby sleeping on the road.
It took me only a few seconds – just
seeing him there – with the hole in his back
and the wind blowing through his hair
to get back again into my animal sorrow.
I am sick of the country, the bloodstained
bumpers, the stiff hairs sticking out of the grilles,
the slimy highways, the heavy birds
refusing to move;
I am sick of the spirit of Lindbergh over everything,
that joy in death, that philosophical
understanding of carnage, that
concentration on the species.
--- I am going to be unappeased at the opossum’s death.
I am going to behave like a Jew
and touch his face, and stare into his eyes,
and pull him off the road.
I am not going to stand in a wet ditch

with the Toyotas and the Chevies passing over me
at sixty miles an hour
and praise the beauty and the balance
and lose myself in the immortal lifestream
when my hands are still a little shaky
from his stiffness and his bulk
and my eyes are still weak and misty
from his round belly and his curved fingers
and his black whiskers and his little dancing feet.

Back

Back to normal life now--the strawberry festivities are over; back to sleeping alone and not having breakfast with Brian; back to planting and feeding and mulching and weeding; back to working on the poems and seeing how to make them live.

~*~

It was a very full four days for Brian's visit. He pointed out that in Baltimore I'm usually really content to stay around the apartment and just do not much of anything. This is true--I do prefer staying in and keeping to myself. But this weekend I wanted to be social. I wanted to be out and see people and eat too much, drink too much, laugh and walk around. And we managed that.

~*~

I picked up the new Bjork album on Thursday--it's sort of a "meh" experience. I want to like it...I just don't, really. Not sure if this is something that'll grow on me or if I'll not even try future listens. I knew I should've bought the latest Modest Mouse.

So Much Crazy

Ach. I've finally settled down enough to make a half-assed pass at an entry. I feel like I've been playing catch-up since the end of March and am only now finally getting there. My shoulder feels great and has held up well to the increased manual labor. I've gotten a lot done but there's more to do. I'd wanted to be ahead by today--but that's not happening. Weed whacking and some planting to be done that I'll tackle once it's cooler. I got a small gash in my palm yesterday that makes me psycho-leary to do any digging, unless I wear gloves. Sometime in the last couple of weeks I came across a reference to a gaseous gangrene that can be picked up from microbes in the soil. I'm now convinced that if I dig around I'll get it. I never used to be like this...but it's happening more frequently now. I hate to wear gloves when I garden...it just feels clumsy and I like the gritty feeling of dirt under my nails. It's slightly uncomfortable but at the same time I enjoy the agitation. (I can say this about a lot of things actually.) It's supposed to finally rain tomorrow so I really need to just suck it up and do this.

~*~

Baking again today--zucchini bread. Two kinds--straight up old school and then a version with shredded sweet potato added--very tasty.

~*~

Brian arrives in a little over 48 hours. I am, bluntly, giddy as a school girl. I haven't seen him since February--weather, the shoulder issues, the bronchitis all conspired against me. This weekend is Strawberry Fest (I'll blog more about this later)--it is truly an insane experience. But there's always a lot of barbecuing, eating and drinking.

Why I Love Baltimore

One more reason to love Charm City. Brian sent me this and it made me smile.

Fresh from the Baltimore Sun.
Check the comments...there's your 28% Mr. Bush. Jeebus. I've heard toy dogs yip and bark that were less shrill.

Rush Limbaugh billboard near I-83 defaced

Official: 'It looks like they took globs of paint and threw it on his face'

(Sun photo by Karl Merton Ferron)
May 10, 2007

Random Geekiness

or, Things I Forgot to Post Before

I bought a paper shredder today--I could not find my actual cheap-o model online, so just imagine that the one in this picture is black. I don't get a lot of junk mail worth shredding so I never really saw the need for one before. I'm actually going to use it to shred up a year's worth of magazines and newspapers to recycle as mulch. (I'll admit, I can't see paying 7 or 8 bucks a bag for bark.) For costing less than 12 bucks american, it's pretty good--zippy and quiet. Though I did overheat it by using it longer than the pamphlet recommends. I know now. I'm about a quarter of the way through my shredding. Very handy. And seeing Condy Rice and George Bush's faces coming out in strips made me smile...I started with my Time backlog.

~*~

Brian picked up American Doll Posse yesterday and for the most part, seems to like it. I've heard a couple of full tracks now, aside from "Big Wheel." The oh-so-amusing-to me "Fat Slut" is only :40. Pity. I think it could be expanded. "Velvet Revolution" is a faux French cafe/cabaret song. It's fun. I'm looking forward to hearing the rest of it.

~*~

Harper's magazine has now archived all of its content since 1850 online for subscribers. That's a quarter million pages! I've not really played too much with it but I plan on taking a lot of time this weekend and just seeing what's there.

~*~

And remember: Never let your kids shred!

Omnibus

Springtime in WV is crazy. Yesterday it was 85 and sunny. Today it's in the 60s, overcast and muggy. Can we please just have a solid week of mild sunny weather? I'm willing to buy God's personal livestock of choice and sacrifice it in the backyard and dance in circles if it would do any good. The humidity and resurgent pollen has effed up my sinuses and given me a doozy of a headache. Plus I'm hyper. I don't think I've ever had this particular combination before.

~*~

I got my hair cut today. It had grown to the point that I could pull it back into a teeny weeny ponytail...sort of like Darryl from Kids in the Hall. My bangs came to the end of my nose. This was the longest my hair had been in about 15 years. Enough was enough. Back to shortish and manageable. The pile of hair about the chair was astonishing. I kinda wanted to bag it up and bring it home with me. It wouldn't be the first time I'd done it.

~*~

I ran into three separate people while running errands who said some variation of "Is it true you have a boyfriend." Oy. All I wanted to do was make a bank deposit and buy some groceries. Not stand around and fill in nosey people who I didn't know enough to fill in at the beginning. Or try and politely chuckle at the cradle robber jokes. Christ. Who knew buying raisin bran and 1% milk was some sort of social gauntlet.

~*~

The pomade the hairdresser put in my hair reeks. It's cloying and the humidity is helping the scent hang in a cloud about my face. I need a shower. Why is all this shit fruit and candy scented now?

~*~

The police have identified the three students who called in the 911 hoax at the local high school. Their names are not being released because they're underage. Sadly this kind of thing is only a misdemeanor. They shut down the entire school system for the day and they're probably gonna get off with nothing.

~*~

Big ups for my mama who won a "family fun basket" in a drawing sponsored by the board of education as a part of a library fundraiser. It's crazy. She paid 2.50 and has a couple hundred bucks worth of free stuff. 11 pizzas; 12 value meals from local fast food places; free passes for the pool, bowling, movies and golf. A couple of gift certificates for bookstores, too. There's more but I've forgotten.