Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Since there's little more boring than waiting for glue to dry, I took the Tickle, Are You Masculine or Feminine test to while away time.
You're 42% feminine
This is based on how you scored on a variety of traits that, founded on classic research and our own studies, are typically associated with women.
You're also 58% masculine, which is based on how you scored on traits that are typically associated with men. When we compare your results with other men it shows that you are somewhat more feminine than other men.
From the "report" itself...
It is not uncommon for men to have higher masculine scores than feminine and for women to have higher feminine scores than masculine, but there are also many people whose masculine and feminine qualities are roughly equal to one another. When a person's masculine and feminine qualities are balanced they either have high levels or low levels of both. Each configuration has its own strengths and weaknesses.
Your test results indicate that you're Androgynous.
There're also some bullshit charts and stereotypical crap (being a sports fan is apparently very critical to being a man...likewise being cheerful is crucial to being a woman. I fail miserably at both.)
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
To the check-out lady at Wal-Mart who carded me for smokes: Thank you. You made my day.
What necessary thing do you hate, gentle reader?
Am I the only one who thinks this stylized "O" looks like a rectum spewing fireworks?
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
It was great getting to split a reading with my friend Eric, too. He offered a great short story and knocked it out of the park.
My friend Ashley snapped some pics and a vid--we'll see how these turn out, and if I'm not too mortified, I'll see if I can get them posted.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
1. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
2. How do you take your coffee?
The same way I spent most of my twenties: blonde and lukewarm.
3. Who were you in a previous life?
O, probably no one of any particular importance.
4. Who or what is your greatest influence?
The music of David Bowie and the poetry of Jack Gilbert and James Schuyler.
5. What is the worst film you ever paid to see?
Lost Souls. I actually walked out.
6. What is the best thing you can buy for a dollar?
7. What is the worst present you ever received?
Herm...probably something from my bitch sister. I don't remember the bad ones. I just give them to Goodwill.
8. What is your favorite word(s)?
They're all dirty.
Monday, October 15, 2007
The long weekend away was lovely. It was nice to have the luxury of sitting with my own work, some favorite books; plus I got to share favorite poems and my own poems with friends. Some revising got done and more thoughts and notes on poems-in-progress. All in all, a valuable trip.
*WATCH THE GAME!*
We ended up being locked in the conference room for about 10 minutes after the panel because the Secret Service was moving Bill and/or Hillary Clinton through to some Democratic hooh-hah being held on-site.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
During my round of daily blog hopping, I noticed a new Camille Paglia post at Salon.com. Usually, I only read her to see how many paragraphs I can get into it before I'm shouting "horse shit." Today's post is her regularly scheduled "Camille Deigns to Answer Your Letters and Prove She's Smarter Than You" column (unless of course the letter is fawning, then she congratulates them on their good taste.)
So I found this:
Yes, some women do seek sexual relief and excitement in the public bathrooms. During my four years in the Marine Corps, it was well understood that women Marines, bi and lesbian, sought out sexual encounters in the bathrooms on Marine Corps bases and military airports. Especially airports because of the enticement of different women coming through and it being a one-time event. Meanwhile, the gay male marines kept their sexuality pretty concealed and secret. It goes without saying the Marines have a long tradition of a gay-bisexual subculture that involves many career Marines.
Kasmir J. Zaratkiewicz
I appreciate this diverting glimpse of subterranean military life!
Naturally, I accept your testimony about uniformed gals gone wild in the loo. But it seems as if such behavior is a temporary, makeshift measure, predicated on soldiers' distance from their own homes. It doesn't totally parallel the lifelong cruising style of so many gay men who haunt public toilets as an active erotic choice or preference.
With its acrid hormonal smells, brisk traffic and mundane ritual of furtive self-touch, the men's john stimulates gay lust -- while the ladies' room is just another place to jabber and powder your nose!
Now--I'm not going to paint with a broad brush here...but what frigging "acrid hormonal smells" does she believe we encounter in restrooms? Does she think they pipe in the smell of poppers? (Granted some places do--and for that I have been grateful.) And the histrionic "furtive self-touch"?? It's a mens' room--you unzip your pants, you release your cock, you piss. There's nothing furtive about it. Jesus. And if anyone (not on drugs) can imagine Paglia "jabbering" with one of the girls and "powdering" her nose I'd like to live in their heads for a bit.
This is probably the second single most wrong-headed thing I've ever read by her (which is saying something.) The first? Her use of the phrase "arc of urinary transcendence."
Monday, October 8, 2007
The Honorable Larry E. Craig
United States Senator,
Super Tuber is a great snack that uses one of my favorite vegetables: The
1 hot dog, cook's choice
Mustard for dipping, any style
Other condiments as desired such as cheese sauce, sour cream, chili, chives, bacon pieces or black olives.
To Microwave: Place on microwave safe plate; cover loosely (to avoid splatters). Microwave on high about 4 minutes per potato until fork tender.
To Bake in Conventional Oven: Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Bake for approximately one hour or until potato is fork tender.
To Barbecue: Wrap in aluminum foil and place above medium hot coals, turning at least once during cooking. Cook until potato is fork tender.
Serving Suggestions: Allow potato to cool slightly. Eat as a finger food, dipping in your favorite hot dog condiments (mustard is my favorite).
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Scandal Brewing at Oral Roberts U
TULSA, Okla. (AP) — Twenty years ago, televangelist Oral Roberts said he
was reading a spy novel when God appeared to him and told him to raise $8
million for Roberts' university, or else he would be "called home."
Now, his son, Oral Roberts University President Richard Roberts, says God is speaking again, telling him to deny lurid allegations in a lawsuit that threatens to
engulf this 44-year-old Bible Belt college in scandal.
Richard Roberts is accused of illegal involvement in a local political campaign and lavish spending at donors' expense, including numerous home remodeling projects, use of the university jet for his daughter's senior trip to the Bahamas, and a red Mercedes convertible and a Lexus SUV for his wife, Lindsay.
She is accused of dropping tens of thousands of dollars on clothes,
awarding nonacademic scholarships to friends of her children and sending scores
of text messages on university-issued cell phones to people described in the
lawsuit as "underage males."
[snip...just like the covenant of Abraham]
Among the charges of impropriety and misconduct are these doozies
_ A longtime maintenance employee was fired so that an underage male friend
of Mrs. Roberts could have his position.
_ Mrs. Roberts — who is a member of the board of regents and is
referred to as ORU's "first lady" on the university's Web site — frequently had
cell-phone bills of more than $800 per month, with hundreds of text messages
sent between 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. to "underage males who had been provided phones at
_ Mrs. Roberts spent more than $39,000 at one Chico's clothing store
alone in less than a year, and had other accounts in Texas and California. She
also repeatedly said, "As long as I wear it once on TV, we can charge it off."
The document cites inconsistencies in clothing purchases and actual usage on
_ University and ministry employees are regularly summoned to the
Roberts' home to do the daughters' homework.
_ The university and ministry maintain a stable of horses for exclusive
use by the Roberts' children.
_ The Roberts' home has been remodeled 11 times in the past 14
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Gathering your wits could be a full time occupation, but since you haven't got all day to pull things together, the least you can do is fake it. To start with try pretending you're not such an ass.
Off to have dinner and bowl with my friend Michael tonight. En route I'm going to grab the new Annie Lennox CD.
I need new things to amuse myself with, new poetry, new music, new movies. Suggestions?
Monday, October 1, 2007
After the miserable gallery experience of a few weeks ago, the kids (Tommy, Ashley, Eric) and I sat at dinner and decided that we would get together and make our own assemblage art pieces. Ashley hosted and that weekend we got to it. There is, sadly, a lack of pubic hair on these pieces which I fear will limit their retail worth. I believe each piece is valued at $1500.00 American, but because they are now part of private collections, they're no longer available. We're also lacking individual artist statements regarding their works. Larger images available here.
"Untitled," Mixed Media Assemblage, by A. Lawson
part of the Schoffler Permanent Collection
"Do Not Kill the Animal," Mixed Media, Poster Paint, Mod Podge, by E. Waggoner
part of the Gibson Permanent Collection
inset of "Do Not Kill the Animal"
"Out Door and Camp Life for Women," Mixed Media, Acrycilic Paint, by R. Gibson
part of the Lawson Permanent Collection
All that's left now is to harvest the peppers to dry and turn into braids and wreaths (that is so totally not my idea, but that's what I'm doing.)
A few weeks ago I took god knows how many pounds of peppers and made jelly and pickles..pretty tasty...but not something I'm going to do again. (When handling peppers...make sure to wash your hands before you go to take a leak...that's all, I'm sayin.) I also ended up making and canning 20 quarts of vegetable broth. That's really what sent me over the edge about never canning again. My ambition and newly found tendency toward thrift got the best of me. The broth's delicious...it's perfect for soup and stews...but never again in such quantities.