Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Shuffle

I don't want a larger penis.
I don't want to watch MILFS and barely legal girls get wild.
I don't want to refinance my mortage.
I don't want viagra or cialis.
I don't want the three grey hairs I found growing in my bangs this morning.

~*~

We had a weird cold snap/frost the other night which has imperiled all the transplants. I found this stuff that's supposed to mimize transplant shock and encourage new root growth. Not sure if it's worth trying at this point or not, but I'm going to give it a shot. If that doesn't work there's more transplantable lilacs and columbines where those came from.

I also found these fertilizer spikes for shrubs and flowering bushes--they were cheap. They look like a cross between dog biscuits and suppositories. I need to do something, my azaleas look like ass. I hate broadcasting fertilizer by hand. I always end up scorching the leaves.

Forgot to get canned cat food and the new Bjork album while shopping. The cats are pissy. I'm pissy. But a woman at Wal-Mart was very sweet, I only had 3 items and she let me cut in front, that improved my mood until I got into traffic.

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These are my bowling shoes. They're fagulous. I love the black patent vinyl stripe. They slide like a dream and were dirt cheap. Sadly, they've been discontinued. I'd considered buying a second pair to have in reserve for when these wear out.

I hadn't been bowling for months and went last night with my friend Michael. I bowled a lot better than I expected--it's probably been about 5 months since we last went. I need to learn to throw a hook, I've just never really bothered trying. We gorged on bowling alley food. It was the best cheeseburger I've had in my life.

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The cats come in smelling of warm grass. I can't understand why they want to sleep at my feet when it's absolutely beautiful outside.

3 comments:

brent goodman said...

Well I see you got the spam emails I sent you . . . did I forget to mention you can get all of those, for a limited time only, ABSOLUTELY FREE!!??

Charles said...

Those bowling shoes are so fagulous, I would be tempted to wear them daily.

RJGibson said...

I have been tempted. But they're so slick that I'm sure I'd fall and bust my ass.