The Vacation That Wasn't

Disregard prior transmission about Capital City.

I never made it. I did end up in the median of I-79 South at approximately the 87 mile marker. The car was at such an angle that we were afraid it would tip so we stood in the median for about an hour and twenty minutes, waiting for the tow truck. No one was hurt. The car was fine--I somehow managed to miss both the guardrail and a passing GMC SUV. Several people slowed to offer cell phones or just to gawk--some bitch took a picture with her cell phone. These same people almost caused accidents in our vicinity. Thank god nothing happened, but there were more than a few "crap your pants" moments.

I'd thought I might try to write this up and be funny and flip about it, but that has failed. I realized I don't wanna talk about this, or think about this.

I need to make note of one person who DID stop--a freaky aging hippie type with Howard Hughes' fingernails, swiggin' from a can of Faygo Root Beer. A State Trooper had stopped at about the same time and he gave him the fish eye treatment and made a point of being on his CB, calling in our location, checking on a wrecker. I think Freaky Hippie Man wanted to use my travelling companions as the seeds for his hillbilly harem.

I am not driving in snow for a very, very, very long time.