Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Phone Call

I had a tanning session yesterday before rehearsal to try and coax my lunescent torso into something resembling a flesh tone. Let me be honest--I'm scattered and exhausted right now, so I'm not at my best. I'm practically witless. So I'm getting ready to get into the tanning bed and I notice the little sign about removal of jewelry. So I took out my nipple ring and got into the bed. I get through the session, get dressed, go to rehearsal. I realize about an hour after I left that I neglected to retrieve my nipple ring. So I call the tanning salon. This is how it went.

Me: Um, hi. I was in bed 3 for a tanning session at 5:30?
Employee: Mhmmm.
Me: Well, uh, I left my nipple ring in the jewelry dish and I was wondering if someone could hold onto it until tomorrow when I have my next session.
Employee: Nip-ple ring.(long pause). Ok. (strangled, repulsed quality to her voice at that moment.)

Sigh. It's the little things.

7 comments:

Keith Woodruff said...

Classic.

anything but poetry said...

Should we even imagine the conversation if you had a Prince Albert?

RJGibson said...

O god...I don't wanna imagine.

Keith Woodruff said...

Alas, I am out of touch.

I had to do a Google image search on Prince Albert. !

! !

anything but poetry said...

I hope you weren't at work, Keith...lol...

Keith Woodruff said...

Worse Aaron, I was at home and of course left forgetting to hose off the computer - which would be fine except that the Google image grab stayed in my cache and when my wife and son were scrolling through recently loaded photos of our new puppy there in the mix was a dick head with a jewelry store sticking out of it.

RJGibson said...

O no...o no no no no no...how does one explain that away...